“ownership was troublesome because the customer could stop payingeth”

— william shakespeare
the merchant of venice software editioneth
fake as hell

horatio
i boughteth the device

excellent

why doth it not work

thou boughtest the metal

what of the function

that is monthly

what of the advanced function

that is premium monthly

and the function it performed yesterday

legacy premium monthly

what if i stop paying

the device remembereth it is a brick

so i owneth a brick

with excellent industrial designeth

what doth the company own

thine future behavior